


Bees?

by dslitez



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alphonse has his body back, Alphonse takes up beekeeping, Beekeeping, Bees?, Edward Elric Swears, Gen, Humor, Post-Promised Day, This is DUMB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 16:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13979406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dslitez/pseuds/dslitez
Summary: Alphonse Elric just wants some bees and Edward can't say no to his baby brother and his stupid cute pouty face or his precious sunshine smile. Even when the thing he wants is, again, BEES.





	Bees?

"Bees?"

"Yes, Brother. Bees."

"Bees?"

"Yes! How many times do I need to explain it to you? I want bees."

" _BEES?_ "

"YES, BEES! I want to try beekeeping!"

Edward lets out a long groan and slides his right hand, which is made of flesh and bone again, down his face. As stupid and out-of-nowhere his little brother's request is, he knows that if he doesn't give good enough reason for Alphonse to back down he'll end up fulfilling it. Ed just can't say no to Al's pouty face. It still amazes Edward to see his brother with a face at all.

The elder brother wracks his brain for justifiable reasons why Alphonse Elric should not take up fucking beekeeping, of all things.

"Do you even know how to take care of bees?"

"Of course, Brother! I've done tons of research. Resembool has a great climate for beekeeping, and we can sell the honey in town. Plus, we can keep some or let Granny and Winry use it for baking."

_Dammit_. Alphonse already burned through most of Ed's arguments in ten seconds flat.

"What if you get stung?" Ed asks, desperate.

"I'll wear a beekeeping suit, Brother," Al says, and then a wry smile grows on his face, "Are you scared of getting stung by a bee, Ed?"

Edward's face turns red (with anger, obviously).

"Fuck no!" he shouts, but Al is already laughing his ass off. At least he has an ass that can be laughed off. Hearing the sound of his brother's laughter without a tinny echo still makes Edward smile, despite himself and those stupid still-yet-hypothetical bees.

"Fine," Ed concedes, "You can have your damn bugs, but I am NOT going to help you."

"Sure you aren't, Brother," Al teases. His smile is bright and warm enough that it could probably melt ice. Ed considers taking his little brother up north to Briggs to test the theory, but it'll have to wait until he's stored up more body fat.

* * *

 

Edward, of course, helps Alphonse set up his hive. They put it out back behind the Rockbell house. Ed also builds a small fence around it, just to keep Den from ending up with a bee sting on his overly-curious nose.

Despite claiming no interest in the bees, Edward seems particularly happy when Al returns from his shopping with, not one, but  _two_  beekeeper suits. He also reads up on beekeeping, and even suggests specific flowers for Pinako's garden that the bees will like.

Alphonse is happy just having something to  _do_. It keeps his mind and hands busy. It also makes him laugh every time his big brother groans about how  _he shouldn't name the bees because it's too hard to tell them apart and they won't live long anyway_ , but he doesn't fail to notice Ed yelling curses at "Roy" for almost stinging him.

* * *

 

"General Roy Mustang speaking. Who is this?"

"Hey, Bastard, do you want honey?"

"... What? Fullmetal?"

"Yeah, now do you want honey or not?"

"Is this your way of flirting with me, Fullmetal?" Roy asks, earning him an odd look from Hawkeye.

"No, god, you fucking pervert. Al took up beekeeping and we have a bunch of honey now. I just wanted to sell it in town or eat it but Al said I should ask if you want some. It's really damn good, and I can give you a discount."

"That's nice of him. Sure, I'll take some. How much will it cost me?"

"1500 cenz."

"... There is no way that is the discounted price. What do you think a discount is, Fullmetal?"

"Fine, just pay for mine and Al's train ticket and we'll bring some honey for everyone. Deal?"

Mustang groans, audibly, into the phone.

"Fine. Deal."

"Oh, and by the way," Edward adds before hanging up.

"What?"

"The bee version of you is a dick."

**Author's Note:**

> I really just wanted to write a fic that starts with the line "Bees?" and I think Alphonse would be willing to try new things like beekeeping.  
> Also, if this had been before Al got his body back:
> 
> "Scar, do you want me to fight you with alchemy or bees?"  
> "Bees?"  
> "HE SAID BEES!" *Alphonse opens his chest plate and hundreds of angry bees swarm out*


End file.
